Mieren
by just-another-homestuck-fan
Summary: This is a monologue from the point of view of one of my fantrolls sadstuck again sorry And thanks to the people who have been reading my fics, I know they aren't very good, and no one reads the summary anyways, but I just wanted to say thank you


When I was little,

2 sweeps 8r s8,

My lusus t8ld me never t8 g8 8utside

I didn't kn8w why, but I did anyways

My sister, Mierah, and I lived in the same hive f8r a while

Until I hit her

I didn't understand why she had t8 leave

I was just playing

I didn't understand that I had permanently hurt her

I didn't mean t8

She had s8me friends...

L8wbl88ds

That heard ab8ut what I had d8ne

Later that week

In the night

They came with their weap8ns and t8rches

They burned d8wn my hive

And k1lled my lusus

I ran

I ran as fast and far away as my feet c8uld take me

And I never l88ked back

I had been running for I d8n't kn8w h8w l8ng

When I met this tr8ll

He called himself Jirome

He t88k me in

Let me sleep 8n his c8uch

His lusus wasn't t88 happy with a h8meless, y8ung subjugulat8r in their hive

I stayed at his place f8r sweeps

His lusus eventually g8t used t8 me

Then he g8t this game

Called it sbgrub

I hadn't played a c8mputer game in a l8ng time, but I t8ld him I'd play it with him

Right after we started playing

Alternia was destr8yed by mete8rs

I th8ught I was fine

I th8ught we were fine

We g8t thr8ugh the game

We beat the king

Then we g8t t8 the lab

It was s8 b8ring

N8thing ever happened

Then

Jir8me

He

L8st it

And

He k1lled his m8irail, Arkida, and T8nike

The 8nly thing that st8pped him was Mirqua

She said she l8ved him

She said she w8uld...

F8rever

After he calmed d8wn

Mierah started getting

Ann8ying

They t8ld me

She w8uld get in my way

They t8ld me t8 get rid 8f her

That she w8uld 8nly get w8rse

They said that I had hurt her bef8re, and that I c8uld hurt her again

I tried t8 ign8re them

It w8rked f8r a while

N8b8dy knew anything was wr8ng

But she went t88 far

She called me a liar

(Which I was)

I yelled at her

Then

I remember a l8ud bang

Her 8n the fl88r

And

8h g8g

I had k1lled

My 8wn sister

But the bl88d

It was navy blue

And it p88led ar8und my feet

It was the m8st beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I dragged her b8dy thr8ugh the sh8rt hallway c8nnecting the c8mputer lab t8 the 8bservat8ry

The walls were t88 bare there

A little c8l8r w8uld be nice

I needed m8re than just blue th8ugh

Maybe s8me teal

8r a little pink

Yeah

I f8und Mirqua n8t far fr8m the steps

I sh8t her s8 that she w8uldn't d1e immediately

But eventually, she w8uld bl33d 8ut

Then I t8ld Jir8me

He came as quickly as he c8uld

He tried t8 save her, but the v8ices w8uldn't all8w that

They ALL must d1e

And they all did

I am a m8nster

It was l8nely in the next few perigrees

I was 8n my 8wn

Again

At least I was used t8 it

The pain 8f kn8wing that it's y8ur fault that they're g8ne

I added green t8 the c8l8rs 8n the walls

Then d8rien came t8 the lab

He was shy at first

But all the same

It was nice t8 hear a v8ice 8ther than mine

Especially 8ne s8 sweet as d8rien's

He t8ld me ab8ut his w8nderful br8ther

And h8w his sessi8n had bl8wn up

And he asked ab8ut my past

The 8ther tr8lls wh8 used t8 be here with me in my sessi8n

I lied

Again

I said that I didn't kn8w what happened, I had been away in my land at the time

But eventually, the truth has t8 c8me 8ut

Eventually, he w8uld find the 8bservat8ry 8n his 8wn, and then it w8uld be harder t8 explain

He didn't take it quite h8w I th8ught he w8uld

After I sh8wed him the 8bservat8ry

He was sh8cked, yes

But he didn't drift away fr8m me

That day was the first time that d8rien

Kissed me

Then the v8ices came back

They t8ld me t8 k1ll my new matesprite

Eventually I did

It was terrifying

Luckily I was able to revive him

But I made sure t8 keep my distance in case the v8ices came back

I was terrified 8f hurting him again

F8r a while, everything was fine and dandy

Until we ran int8 a tr8ll with white hair and a metal leg

He said his name was fid8.

He was

An interesting individual

He stayed in darkness, al8ne in the basement

After we met him

D8rien said that he th8ught that fid8 was

Well

Hitting 8n me

It was 8ddly satisfying t8 kn8w that he liked me that way

But I already had a matesprite

I c8uldn't very well leave d8rien

N8r c8uld I have tw8 matesprites

I had a pr8blem

Later that week

Fid8 f8und the 8bservat8ry

I was scared 8f the 8utc8me,

P8sitive 8r negative

But it was w8rse than either

He kissed me

Right there

In the middle 8f the 8bservat8ry

I fr8ze

What was I supp8sed t8 d8 n8w?

I had tw8 tr8lls wh8 wanted

N8-

Needed me t8 be their matesprite

But wh8 needed me m8re?

I was s8 c8nfused

I went back and f8rth f8r a while

I th8ught everything w8uld be fine

But then

A rainb8w-drinker,

Jehtte,

Came int8 the picture

Fid8 aparantly knew her

They were fr8m the same sessi8n

D8rien t88k a liking t8 her quickly

S88n they were m8irails

She made fid8 and my preci8us s8ngbird, sink deeper and deeper int8 depressi8n

When yuriah came back fr8m his land

He was angry with me

F8r what I had d8ne t8 8ur sessi8n

S88n after yuriah came back

Fid8...

He...

He k1lled himself

It was terrible

Then jehtte tried t8 kill me

And then went missing

And yuriah blamed me f8r it because of s8me matespriey bullsh1t

Then I think he f8und her

And yeah

That's basically all that's happened

S8 yeah

Happy n8w?

What?

N8.

I will n8t tell y8u m8re ab8ut fid8

N8

G8 away

I'm n8t crying

I'm n8t!

*slams door*


End file.
